Letting Go of the Darkness

According to experts, we look better in the dark. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. When in dimly lit places, we can hide our flaws and mask our insecurities behind the shadows.

If you’ve noticed, restaurants targeting dating couples are often dimly lit. You’d suppose it’s to create a romantic ambiance, right? But how is it really more romantic? (Without being overly suggestive here…)

Well, it’s all scientific, actually. The pupils in our eyes dilate when we’re in the dark, as well as when we see something we like. That means our eyes are trying to get a better look at it, letting more light in. Thus, by creating an environment where our pupils naturally dilate, we are more inclined to find the person in front of us attractive and enjoyable in this kind of setting.

Now, you may be wondering what this has to do with faith advice or encouragement, but trust me, as always, I do eventually get to a point!

We often cling to the dark when we are scared of revealing our vulnerable side, the parts of us we aren’t super proud of. The “dark” can refer to a multitude of masks, really, whether it be a successful job, a busy schedule, or even acts of generosity. It can also be secluding one’s self, not opening up to people who care, or literally hiding where no one will think to look. We use the darkness as a way to escape the present pain and to make ourselves appear better than we really are.

But, as you may have already learned the hard way, relationships have to be built on honesty. I once read the quote, “If people don’t like you for what you are, they will not like you more for pretending to be what you are not.” (Rabbi Jonathan Sacks)

There is great truth in this. It’s easy to want to put on a show for people you love, people who seem “better” than you (spoiler: they are not), and people you hope to keep in your life. For me, I was always afraid of losing people. I still struggle with this fear. When I worry they’ll forget me or not need me around anymore, I force myself to pretend that everything’s okay when I’m around them and do whatever I can to make them need me or want me around.

But by the end of the day, it makes me feel unsatisfied. That’s because the only way we can feel satisfied in our relationships is when we put them in God’s hands and stay true to who we are. Though we’d like to have certain people in our lives forever, sometimes it’s not meant to be. Every relationship has a reason, whether they last a week or for decades. Even a short interaction with a waitress or a cashier might be life-changing. You never know.

God uses different people for different seasons of our lives. He wants us to find people who love us just the way we are. Yes, they should encourage us to grow, but they shouldn’t make us feel bad for being who God created us to be, quirks and all. And if they leave, they leave.

But you know who will never leave? God. He is the light. No dark facade can phase Him. And He will always, always be by your side through thick and thin. It may not feel like it sometimes, when the hard times hit, but I love what a wise friend of mine once said. God saved him from a potentially tragic situation, and he said, (paraphrased), “I know that Jesus was in the seat next to me. Even if I had been seriously hurt, He still would’ve been with me. No matter what, Jesus is always with me.” I will always keep this piece of wisdom close to me. That kind of trust astounds me, and hopefully it inspires you as well.

Breathe in, remembering that you have nothing to fear. Breathe out, remembering that Jesus will never leave you nor forsake you.

For you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light.

Ephesians 5:8

Even the darkness is not dark to You,
And the night is as bright as the day.
Darkness and light are alike to You.

Psalm 139:12

For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son

Colossians 1:13

But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light.

Ephesians 5:13