Growing up, I was always a fast reader. I’d love rereading my favorite stories, and one of the benefits of knowing the plot ahead of time was skipping or skimming through the parts I didn’t like. Those parts generally included descriptions of bodily harm, embarrassing moments (second-hand embarrassment is real!), and generally any time a character I liked got hurt.
It appears my method of “skimming through the hard parts” has stuck with me through the years. I’ve been journaling for several years now, during a time when I’ve changed a lot, and looking back at old entries makes me cringe! I used to enjoy going through old journals, but now I avoid it because I’d rather just ignore the embarrassing (or even painful) memories.
I’ve shared this before, but I’m not one who easily shares her feelings. I don’t like to admit something has hurt me. Perhaps I subconsciously think that admitting weakness makes me a weak person.
A wise mentor once told me that “the moment we admit something made us afraid, fear loses its power over us”. That will forever be one of my favorite quotes, and to think I heard it in person! Today my pastor tweaked this idea a little bit in a way that may help us both be willing to admit our wounds.
During my Easter series, one of the posts was focused on Thomas and how we can relate to him. Jesus welcomes our questions and our doubts; they aren’t signs of unbelief. Believe it or not, Jesus can handle whatever question we throw at Him!
In the service this morning, the pastor shared how Thomas was able to touch Jesus’ wounds for himself. They must have been healed in some way, right? Thomas wouldn’t have needed to even ask the question of where Jesus’ wounds were if Jesus had blood gushing out of His palms. But yet, there was still enough of a mark to show everyone that He was truly Jesus. And perhaps those wounds never went away until Jesus ascended into Heaven.
But did Jesus hide His wounds, these symbols of the pain and torture He endured? No, he opened conversation about them. He used them as ways to bring others into belief.
What kinds of wounds have you been carrying around with you? Perhaps it’s a painful loss, an abusive relationship, a childhood trauma. Or maybe it’s being rejected, not being seen, or feeling betrayed. Whatever you have been hiding, allow yourself to fully grieve.
You can only heal when you admit your pain and your loss. You can only heal when you allow yourself to feel what you’ve been avoiding, or “skimming”. You see, we can’t skip over the hard parts in life. We can’t speed up the grieving or healing process.
And in those moments of grief, if we turn to God, we can find belief. We can find answers. We can find unexplainable peace.
These wounds are always going to be a part of your story, but they don’t always have to be a painful part. They can lead others to Christ or bring you closer to God.
Today, ask yourself, “What am I running from? What about grief or loss makes me avoid it?” Allow God’s comfort to fill your heart.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18
May God, the source of hope, fill you with all joy and peace by means of your faith in him, so that your hope will continue to grow by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13
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