The Comparison Trap

My word of the year, which I may have shared earlier, is joy. A quote I saw this week, simple but important, was this: Comparison steals joy.

Comparison is a trap we all have or will step into at one point or another. I’ve had a difficult time with comparison, and I didn’t recognize my current struggle with it until seeing this quote and thinking about how it truly has taken away my joy.

I think there’s the common way of thinking of comparison– comparing ourselves with another person.

But we also can have difficulties with comparing ourselves to a past version of us and with a false standard others hold of us.

I’m going to be doing a short series on comparison, starting with comparing ourselves to other people, and I’ll touch on what I mean by the other ways of comparison in another post.

I am a horse rider. I think I have shared that on here, and it’s become a big part of my identity, especially now that I work at a barn. Last year, I rode with two newer riders and was the “most knowledgeable in the ring”. But in the fall, I started doubting my abilities when comparing myself to the two new people I started riding with. I lost my enjoyment of horse riding. I lost my sense of motivation. I just became frustrated with myself.

Now, there’s more to that story, but that ties into next post. For now, let’s stay here a moment.

When have you felt like you excelled at something, just to get that feeling taken away from you?

That feeling is pride. And sometimes when God knows we need a lesson in humility, He allows for that pride to get ripped out from underneath us.

Because, let’s face it, there’s always going to be someone better. A better rider, a better writer, a better teacher, a better ______.

The reason why comparison hurts us is because we lose confidence in ourselves.

But you see, confidence is a good thing while pride is not.

God wants us to be confident where He’s placed us. We need to have faith even when we feel like the least knowledgeable person.

And chances are, we aren’t quite as “bad” at whatever, whether it be a sport, hobby, job, or physical trait, as the negative voice in our heads make us believe.

We are just in a different stage. We are in a different season. And trust me, you won’t be the least experienced forever. Someday, you might even be the most experienced. So learn what you can and don’t waste the season you’re in right now.

I know it’s hard when we think other people are better than us. I know it’s hard when other people confirm the lies we repeat to ourselves, the lies that say oru worth is based on what we can do and not who we are.

But I’m going to combat those lies for you– for both of us– right now.

You are valuable no matter what you accomplish, whether it’s a little or a lot. You are making a difference in other people’s lives, whether or not you get appreciated. And you have a future, even when other people say you aren’t going to change. Because you are going to change. We all are. And that’s a good thing, because the more we change, the stronger we become.

You are strong enough to combat those feelings of insecurity. Those doubts. You are enough.

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Galatians 1:10

Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.

2 Corinthians 10:12

But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor.

Galatians 6:4