Didn’t Get to Say Goodbye

When you have to say goodbye to the way things used to be, may you learn to trust above everything, you are free to know peace (even without the closure you thought you would need).

-Morgan Harper Nichols

I’m definitely the type of person who longs for closure, that last goodbye. I want there to be a happy memory, but also something that made it final for me that things were over. I’ve been reflecting on this idea, especially since a week ago I didn’t get the closure on a particular season of life that I was longing for. I think the reason I struggle with needing closure, despite perhaps an innate human desire for it that we all have, would be the fact that a lot of my relationships have ended abruptly. I lost people without even realizing it until it was too late. I’m a very relational person, and I’m going to be honest, one of my biggest fears is losing people (whether figuratively or physically). So the fact that I’ve gone through this several times with people I’ve really cared about has weighed heavily on me and has affected my mindset.

You may be struggling right now with saying goodbye to someone, something, or some symbol of the way things used to be. We all have had to make a lot of adjustments recently, what with COVID-19, along with different issues our world is facing. Maybe you’re dealing with a lot of fear right now about the future.

I have been in that same place, and I know I may sink back there again. But I have to keep reminding myself, just as I hope I’m reminding you now, that it’s okay to be at peace when things change. You don’t have to have everything figured out before you can feel satisfied.

You know why?

Because you already have everything you need to keep going. God will fill you with the strength, joy, and motivation to find new opportunities. All you need to do is ask Him. And I’ve found it especially helpful to journal my feelings and read encouraging Bible verses, devotionals, or posts when I’m needing to find that strength again.

But just because you can have peace and contentment now, despite all you’ve lost, doesn’t mean you have to act like nothing has changed. You don’t have to keep that brave face on when you really want to expose your more sensitive side. It’s perfectly normal, in fact healthy, to grieve these losses in your life. That’s the only way you can eventually be ready to move on. But the process can be slow, and that’s okay. That doesn’t mean you’re weak or overly sensitive. It just means that you’re human and that you’re willing to go through the difficult process of growing into the person you’re meant to be.

So today, take some time to reflect on what’s holding you back from fully experiencing peace. If you need to cry, then cry. If you need to call an encouraging friend, then call them. If you need to take a break and just be alone with God, then take the time to do that. You deserve it. In fact, you owe it to yourself and your relationship with God and with others to allow yourself the freedom to express yourself and just breathe.

No matter who or what you’re grieving right now, your feelings are valid. But remember that they are not what make you who you are. They are not what defines you. Only God is the One who can truly tell you who you are.

And He says that you are valuable, loved, worthy, cherished, His precious child, and so much more.

You’re going to be okay. ❤

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under the heavens…

  a time to weep and a time to laugh,

    a time to mourn and a time to dance.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1, 4