The Fear of Believing

The presence of fear does not mean you have no faith. Fear visits everyone. But make your fear a visitor and not a resident.

-Max Lucado

I’ll let you in on a little secret. I would never consider myself superstitious. However, there is this weird thing I do when I begin hoping that something will happen or something seems somewhat promising. I will think to myself, “Oh, that will never happen. Don’t count on it or believe.” Then I think that the chances of it happening are more likely than if I had a positive attitude about it. And I’ve begun to realize that this tactic which makes me think that I am safe from the grief of being hopeful about something just to have it fall through by denying the possibility is hurting me more than anything else.

I’ve been thinking more and more about it, and honestly, my mentality that something will have a higher chance of it working out by having a doubtful attitude about it is honestly ridiculous. I would probably work harder to make dreams a reality if I actually believed that they could work out. But more importantly, I’ve let this mentality affect my faith.

I’ve let this lie slip into my head a lot recently: “God doesn’t care about what I’m going through or how I am feeling.” I’m worried that if I believe that God cares, then when bad things happen, God was intentionally allowing those things to happen.

This sentence might make you a bit upset…

The truth is, God IS intentionally allowing these things to happen. To you, to me, to everyone. All that pain, all those confused feelings.

So…then why should we believe?

Because God is using those things to make you a better person. He believes that you are strong enough to fight through the doubts, the insecurities, and the pain. And He believes that those are what will bring you closer to Him.

Frustrated yet?

Honestly, it makes me upset sometimes. I feel like it takes a lot of faith to believe that God is using these rough things for a reason and that He has a plan through it all. Mostly, I wonder why God could ever believe that I would want to be closer to Him after all these hard things happen. But the truth is…I do. It’s because throughout all of these challenges, God is the only One that stays constant, who stays there with you through everything. There are a lot of people who say they will always be there for you who either move away, slowly drift apart, or who were saying it simply because it sounded right.

Have you ever noticed how you feel a lot closer to someone after they have been with you through one of the worst moments of your life? I have, at least. I think that it might not make sense, because those are often the times when you are least like yourself or at least who you want to appear as. But in reality, it’s those people who are the ones that have proven loyalty, trustworthiness, and are putting those things into action now.

That is what God does when he allows rough seasons to hit. God is proving that He will bring you through the times you thought you could never make it out of. He is showing you that He will provide even when you thought nobody cared. He is showing you that people love you, that people need you, and that someday He is going to use you for incredible things.

Are you going to end with “you just gotta have faith”? Because I’ve heard that line before…

No, I’m not going to end with that. I don’t think faith is as simple as those sayings go. Faith means vulnerability. Faith takes bravery. And faith is not something that is easy to come by. But a lie that often revolves around faith is that it is a process in which you have to go at alone. You have to somehow have that “revelation” that makes everything suddenly seem real for you. That might work for 1% of the population (or more, but no one I’ve known…) but for the rest of us, there are other things we can do to grow our faith constantly. One of those things is being surrounded by people who encourage it. Hearing real stories about what God is doing and feeling God’s love from others can definitely strengthen our faith. In addition, spending time getting to know God and journaling to see how prayers are being answered is helpful.

My final word to you

We all have doubts. We all have low seasons. I’m in a low season right now, actually. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t have faith. It just means that we have to work a little harder at being brave enough to believe. Yes, God cares. Yes, God is listening. Yes, God is allowing these things to happen. But it’s for a reason. And yes, you are going to have doubts, even if you are in a season where life couldn’t be better. Sometimes those are the seasons where it’s hardest to believe we even need God. But trust me, after the hard stuff hits again, you’ll remember why. Ultimately, don’t beat down on yourself for doubts. Just remember that it’s all a test, and God is always going to be there waiting for you.

“The LORD waits for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the LORD is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for him to help them.”

Isaiah 30:18